INDIA - DAY 1

INDIA DAY 1:

I never truly realized what I signed up for when I chose this particular pilgrimage to India.  I knew I would go deeper into Yoga, Hinduism, Tantra, and other topics of my interest, but I never realized how deeply and quickly I would encounter my own shadow side.  

India triggered me from the very beginning.

A small delay in Istanbul delayed my flight into Delhi, and we arrived just before sunrise.  The air pollution is so thick the planes must leave as early as possible, making my connection to my Kolkata flight a very narrow one.  I was entering the country for the first time, so I had to go through customs, recheck my luggage into domestic, etc.

I had 30 minutes.

Customs was a bit of a struggle (my first initiation as a woman into the Indian patriarchy).  Security was easy.  Getting to my gate, not so much.  I was told the wrong number and ended up needing to run to the complete OPPOSITE end of the terminal of an international airport.

...with 10 minutes to spare.

TRIGGER #1:
“I won’t make my flight. I’ll miss it and won’t get another and I’ll be stuck in this airport until tomorrow.

I was literally exhausted after 2 days in the air, and found myself both running and running out of breath while practically crying trying to frantically get to my proper gate.

Thankfully, an airport worker in a cart saw me in a panic, scooped me up, and escorted me to my gate just in time.  

BREATHE.

I told myself to breathe as my plane took off and I was headed to my final arrival. In Kolkata I grabbed my luggage and exited the airport.  I was expecting someone to pick me up from our pilgrimage group.  Looking for a sign with my name, I started scanning the vast sea of people and signs...

Nothing.

I checked my time and my emails.  Everything seemed correct.  I didn’t have service to get anything new if it had been sent over the past 2 days.  Where was my pickup?

I searched again and found no one.

TRIGGER #2:
“I missed my pickup and/or plans changed.  Now I have to take a Taxi not knowing if it’s safe or how much it will be and I’ll probably get ripped off and/or kidnapped.  I’m lost in Kolkata.”

I decided to eat the international charges with my phone provider and call the one number I saw on the email for our trip coordinator.

They answered.  I asked where my pickup was.  They told me they were standing right there looking at me.

Whew!

BREATHE.

I took a deep breath as I got into my taxi with another couple of pilgrims from our group, and we headed to our hotel.

The city is noisy.  And hot.  And stuffy and polluted. Traffic is like nothing I’ve ever seen, along with the driving that goes with it.  Strangely, my anxiety doesn’t kick in here.  Maybe I’m too tired to care.  So I breathe through it and talk with my taxi mates and we discuss our upcoming voyage.

When I get to the hotel, I get some water and my room to settle in.  We have a few hours before we are supposed to meet.  I decide to shower and nap,  The room
is small but decent. The bathroom is unique to me, having the toilet, shower, and sink all in one space.  There is a bucket.  But there is also a shower head. I turn it all on and let hot water wash over me for the first time in nearly 3 days.  I put on sweats. I go to lay down on my bed.  It is clean-ish.  There are hairs on it. I am too tired to care.  I throw on a hoodie and use my neck pillow as a place for my head and close my eyes.

TRIGGER #3:
“I’m going to get bedbugs or something of the like.”

BREATHE.

I breathe deeply, let go of stories in my head, find gratitude for the bed, and finally rest. A few hours later I wake up to the noise of the city, change into more appropriate attire, and head downstairs. I meet the rest of the group and our leaders.  Due to a booking mixup, I find out I have to share a room AND A BED with someone else for the first night. Although she seems nice, I do not know this person, and we are both upset about the arrangement.  Nothing can be done. The hotel is booked.

TRIGGER #4:
“I don’t know this person.  I chose this journey for solitude. The whole trip will probably go this way, and I’ll never get the time alone I think I need.”

BREATHE.

I breathe through it, put a smile on my face, and head up to the new room.  My roomie and I make small talk. We all meet downstairs to go eat.  We travel to a small restaurant and order “family style”. It is all so delicious.  We head back to the hotel, wind down for the night, and prepare for tomorrow—our first full day on our Mecca.

BREATHE.

I breathe away this crazy, chaotic, stimulating, challenging day.  I trust in the voyage. I have faith tomorrow will be less triggering. I lean into the flow of it all.

I fall asleep.

...to be continued.