I screamed out my anger around those who want to inflict pain, and even worse, death on other sentient beings.

I screamed out my disbelief in a broken, corrupt, and unjust system that we all seem to be ruled and run by.

I screamed out my misunderstandings around how I don’t know what to say or do, for it seems it will never be enough.

I screamed out my white privilege and how frustrated I am with the fact that although I want to speak out, my whiteness will likely push my post above a black person’s account in the algorithms which does the opposite of the good I intend.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had a hard time navigating how to respond to the #blacklivesmatter movement, because it seems a bit “damned if I do, damned if I don’t, damned if I don’t do enough, etc...”

There continues to be so much judgement in a time when we need to be letting go of all of that.

I have black friends. Close ones.

Some I have been friends with since I was a child.

I have grown up in their houses and worshipped in their churches.

My dad taught me to see past differences in others.

I’m doing the same with my own son.

It makes me damn proud to see him say hi to everyone and smile with the same energy and joy, no matter what they look like.

I hold space in a yoga studio for all, no matter your background, look, or choices.
I took a knee with Colin Kaepernick when people were unfriending me, strangers were cyber-bullying me, and still even when family members decided to stop talking to me.

I have openly expressed my stand against racial injustice time and time again.

...and yet it still doesn’t seem to be enough.

My heart is in pain right now.
I feel like “I can’t breathe” either.
I feel like I’m suffocating under all of the hate.
I don’t understand why any of this continues to happen.
I am angry and sad and frustrated and confused and scared along with all of my black sisters and brothers, although I am white.

Because we all bleed red.
We all feel.
And emotions run far beyond color.

I am here.
I am listening.
I am researching what I don’t know.
I am giving and doing what I can.
I am setting an example.
I am reaching out.
I am holding safe space.
I am empathizing.
I am sending out so much love.

And although I will never understand, I will ALWAYS stand with you.

Or take a knee.

Or whatever it takes to show solidarity and support.

That BLACK LIVES MATTER.