Embracing Worthiness
Sep 17, 2020
I remember when I finally bought the $99 leggings.
It might not seem like much, but they were leggings I’d literally been eyeing for 4 years.
I was in love with them, but in the past I just couldn’t pull the trigger.
Rarely do I spend that much on myself.
But, that’s been the issue all along.
I RARELY spend on MYSELF.
It’s a natural empath thing.
And I think a Libra thing, too.
Honestly, I’ve spent most of my life worried about showering others with my love and gifts and devotion more than I’ve done for myself.
I’ve always limited what I spend on myself, always finding other ways to justify the money.
Like, saying I could get ahead on my bills instead.
Or pay on my student loans.
Or buy something more practical.
Or just not feeling WORTHY.
These feelings are deep rooted.
They stem from my childhood.
From growing up in poverty and mismanagement of money.
They stem from a mother who had us dumpster diving at the Goodwill in the middle of the night and living off of food stamps.
It stems from a father who filed bankruptcy and had gambling addictions.
Those experiences are imprinted deep into my core.
They have affected the development of my root chakra, and they have, at times, caused me to experience my own struggles with finances, debts, and uncontrollable spending.
I simply had no guidance in it all.
Ultimately, these experiences I witnessed growing up limited my money-making, abundance-driven mindset.
Recently, I said no more.
As I’ve entered Motherhood, I have developed a strong urge to create a life of security for my child and break these generational cycles of money struggle.
To help with this, I have set an intention to buy myself something every month. It might be a spontaneous purchase or something from a wish list.
Whatever it is, it’s something I simply WANT for no other reason than pure desire.
This may seem like an easy task, but it has broken me tremendously out of my comfort zone.
When you’ve had a pattern develop for over 37 years of your life, it’s not easy to make change.
Yet, with each month, I have continued to find ways to treat myself.
I consider it gifting myself simply for being me.
For getting out of my comfort zone.
For doing the HARD WORK to break free of ancestral traumas.
And this simple action has brought so much growth.
With that growth I have continued to feel my worthiness expand.
The more worthy I feel, the more comfortable I become with spending MORE on myself.
Now here’s the magickal part...
The more I spend on myself, the more I gain to continue doing so.
The more worthy I feel, the more gifts I receive from the Universe at complete surprise.
Whether it be money, time, attention, material, or more, it’s all energy exchange and abundance!
If money is a limiting factor in your spiritual growth and self-worth its time to shift how you use it.
If all of your focus has been on others, it’s time to remember yourself, too.
Buy that book on your wish list.
Or the shoes.
Or the leggings.
Or whatever else.
Embrace your worthiness, and start treating yourself.
You absolutely, 100% deserve it.
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